My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize