oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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