His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
