They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
