there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
