Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
