Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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