why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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