if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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