She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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