Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
