Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
