I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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