I don't think brook has ever known best
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
ttyl tear gas
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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