There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
