You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
