im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
