The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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