I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
