This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
