This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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