So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
