I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
