I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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