is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize