If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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