Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
