Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
