Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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