New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just invented taco cereal.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize