If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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