We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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