evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize