my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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