its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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