i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize