I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
