Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
