If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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