Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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