Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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