Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
