just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
