wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Did you just see the Batmobile???
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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