rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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