HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
