So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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