bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You can't just leave with hair like that
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
