so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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