Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
