i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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