i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
