I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
