why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
