I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
