Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
