Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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