we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
