Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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