My first STD was from a foam party
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
